Unfortunately Sweeties, during the writing process for this particular post, another celebrity marriage bit the dust, and while I’m not wholly surprised, I am still disappointed to learn that Millie Mackintosh and Professor Green aka. Stephen Manderson, have filed for divorce. It just reaffirmed that I despair with celebrity marriages (and gave me fuel to get this post done).
Also at the time of writing, I am merely weeks away from walking down the aisle myself and I wouldn’t be doing so if I didn’t think marriage was something to be taken seriously. I actually approach it in the same way as I did when I first agreed to move in with Ian, I said at the time that I wouldn’t be moving in to move out again and it’s the same with marriage, I am not getting married and making such a commitment if I feel we’ll get divorced down the line. Of course, no one can predict what happens in life and sometimes things happen that can but only blow couples apart. However, marriage is not there to be thought of as something that can be easily got out of should things sour.
I think not long ago, particularly in the height of popularity for Don’t Tell the Bride, weddings became very fashionable and people got too caught up in planning for a wedding than they were preparing for marriage. This fundamentally was why I often rejected the couples that got onto the show having only been together barely a year, against couples that had been together for years and were struggling to finance a wedding. I also am always a little bit worried for couples that spend years planning their wedding, I know many will have their own personal reasons for this such as finishing a degree or something, but a wedding so easily takes over and to plan for something that eventually only lasts about 12 hours rule your life for 12 months or more is a bit worrying. What do you talk about once the high has died?
The big day aside though, marriage is a commitment made by two people to love, support and be together “until death do us part.” That should mean something. And while I can’t talk from personal experience, divorces are terribly traumatic times for those involved, both financially and emotionally. So you can understand my despair at why celebrities make marriage such a throw away thing. While I don’t doubt that they also go through huge financial and emotional loss, it’s on a different scale to the rest of us, fundamentally because they have teams of people that can handle it all for them and all the celebrity does is just sign the document at the end. Ok, I’m being unfair, I am. But do you see where I am coming from? My issue is that I don’t get the impression that some celebrities really work at their marriage, I know their circumstances are different, but the vows are still the same, celebrity or not, you still agree to the same things and that is you are committing to share a life with someone until one or both of you dies. Getting divorced after two years of marriage is hardly trying is it? And don’t even get me started on that circus of a Kardashian wedding that resulted in just 72 days of marriage!
Too many celebrities get married too quickly, it’s like they’re not allowed to be together without getting married within a few months of meeting. We’ve all seen it, a new couple get together and within weeks all the press are spreading engagement rumours, that or it’s the couple themselves and I’m afraid you have to just see through it for the PR stunt that it is. This is why some people (us normal folk that is) feel they have to have big expensive weddings because they try and compete with the big glossy images pictured in the press.
So if like me, you’re getting married in the not too distant future, take a step back for a moment and ask yourself why –is it for the fun and glitz of a wedding, or is it because you’re making the ultimate commitment to someone who you are willing to spend the rest of your life with? Or, maybe you’re getting ridiculously stressed about your big day, spending ages over colour schemes, napkins and centre pieces. Take a moment and ask yourself, does it really matter? All the wedding publications constantly bang on about ‘wowing your guests’ but really, will your guests even notice? They’re there to support you, and share in your celebrations as you kick start a brand new chapter of your life.
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Until next time x