My twenties were fucking exhausting. I started and finished a dental nursing course; then I started and completed a degree in media communications; I met my future husband; worked a couple of jobs while waiting for my break in marketing; then spent the rest of my twenties feeling as though I was playing career catch up by progressing myself quickly.
In summary, it was a ton of effort to climb as high as I could to only fall down from the top of the ladder anyway. (That does sound a bit dramatic and I was out of my twenties by this point, but I’m still feeling a bit burnt after being made redundant shortly after returning to work from maternity leave).
But in saying that, would I go back and change anything? No. I needed every single one of those different experiences to shape my future self, the one I am now who empowers capability.
My mental health during those years was at its most unstable, which is why my advice to others is to not feel like you have to go at a hundred miles an hour during your twenties to achieve whatever goals you have set for yourself. You’ll get there, you have time, believe me.
During my teenage years I battled depression and medication supported me through those very deep lows. But gradually I learnt to recognise when I was about to take a dive and reached out for help during those times which is what got me through and eventually, able to cope without medication.
I spent most of my twenties in the grasp of social anxiety and it wasn’t much fun. It has never gone away but I have better control now during triggering situations, and how best to navigate them.
I didn’t mind school but a few things a certain teacher said to me when I was making those bigger decisions about my future triggered an exhausting need to constantly be proving myself to others in the years following. Proving I was/am actually clever (we stan August babies!); I am capable; and I can achieve anything I set my heart to.
I spent my twenties feeling as though I had to be able to articulate exactly where I was going and fully back-up all my decisions, and to be fair I pretty much did to anyone that stopped still long enough. If I was feeling unsatisfied, I went looking for the next thing.
I wanted to sprint, not just run, but sprint to the next stage of development. I felt arriving into marketing at twenty-five I had to play catch up and race to progress myself. The one positive of this was that I never got too comfortable in a job, once I was ready for progression if the opportunity wasn’t there (and it invariably wasn’t), I moved on.
Turning thirty was a bit daunting for sure, but life this side is so much better and calmer (even with toddlers turning the house upside down on the daily!).
Did you know that Oprah when she was 23 years-old got fired by her employer? It was probably a huge punch in the gut for her, but how life changing was it? Huge probably. But she (still) went on to become Oprah.
Was that firing instrumental to Oprah’s overall success? I don’t know but it shows that somethings though big at the time, will be just mere bumps in the road in the long run. That is basically your twenties in a nutshell; a series of bumps that just make you re-navigate your path.
So remember that set-backs aren’t always bad; it’s okay to experience failure.
To anyone reading this and the above is sounding very familiar to you, take the career pressure off a little. Please.
Maybe you’re stressing about when it will be the right time to have a baby, or have your thirtieth birthday in your sights as the time to have all those career goals met, just stop. There is time and if you’re motivated you’ll get it done, and then you’ll reflect back on these years and realise there is truth in what you are reading now.
But in all seriousness, mental health is something to be aware of and keep in the forefront of your mind as something to protect. Life is complicated, we fill it to the brim with too much a lot of the time so learn self care, take the time for it, and NEVER be afraid to reach out for help if you need it.
Until next time x
